The Big Squeeze

Those takeaway fish and chips weren't a good idea last night. That's what I realise when I'm out running at 7am this morning. It was hard to get up and do it, even without all that grease sloshing around inside me but still, I did it. It had to be done; I have to push myself now if I’m going to live through my target event, the Ashbourne Duathlon in April and of course that makes it 1-1 with L. Who then informs me she's been for a swim, although she reckons her heart wasn't in it. Not that that matters a jot, its still 2-1.

I offer to cheer her up by sending her the Kate Nash mp3 I’ve been listening to... just out of curiosity. She’s covered Cold War Kids' 'Hang Me Out To Dry' and it’s put me off my porridge.

Someone else with a target, is a colleague here at work. He has his eyes on the Long Eaton 5 miler and he's been badgering me for an entry form but it's not until June. He’s very keen; the forms aren't out yet. I know that's not really his target. His real target is to beat me. He's been doing 35 minutes for five miles in training, which apparently places him just outside the top 100 on last years results. Blimey, I was 60-something in 32 minutes. Worried.

L's also in search of a target, a big run or maybe a big swim. Apparently, those 'Great Swim' people now have an English Channel one. Before she knows it, L will be off across the Atlantic like that 56-year-old American who recently was the first woman to do it, in a mere 24 days. Gulp. She had to swim inside a cage to protect her from sharks. Gulp. Gulp.

I jog the mile to the city centre and get the bus home. It's a bit of a plod but still, shall we call it 2-2.

Now if you're eating I apologise but tonight's entertainment is supplied by Doggo and his anal glands. He's been biting his own rear end a lot lately, which, I know from previous experience, means, said glands are all bunged up. L finds something on the internet that tells you how to relieve your pet of this discomfort without taking him to the vet, basically how to empty them yourselves... The last time he had to have this done though, the vet delved a bit deeper than the website implies you have to... so no DIY job here. The vets it is.

L comes along offering moral support as the vet gives him what's known in the trade as an anal squeeze. You see, I know how to give my girl a good night out.

It turns out to be more entertaining than even we thought it would be, although Doggo nearly chews through my arm as I hold him and the vet squeezes the first side. 'His glands are very full' she tells us, as the first side squirts the young vet in the eye. Ugh. I have problems persuading Doggo to have the second side done but I talk him round. The vet also looks reluctant, with good cause as it turns out, as the second side goes all down her trousers. I really hope she didn't have a hot date lined up for tonight.

Job done though, and I'm sure Doggo must feel a stone lighter now, for which L feels dead jealous. They go off for a run as I take MD to his class. Taking of jealous, that makes her 3-2 up.

MD has a very good class; he is my little star. Although I get more convinced every week that the class is structured around us, apologies to the other pupils.