Old Punks Don't Die

As I lay in bed I can hear the pounding of the rain on the windows, not that the word rain does do it justice, because it’s hammering it down. I have one loyal canine warming my feet and the other to my right crashed out on the floor. Neither of them are showing any inclination for movement. Then on my other side, alongside me in this nice, snug, dry bed is a warm, soft, female body, who if I push the right buttons could, well...

So what do I do? I get up of course, abandon all that bliss, drive to Ashbourne and stand in the rain for six hours. Logical eh? The loyal canines aren’t particularly thrilled to join me but having been pre-programmed to be ‘loyal’, they do so anyway.

The dog show isn’t even really worth it, even if I pretend it isn’t raining. The courses are far too straightforward and therefore too fast for us to shine. So all a waste of time really. L doesn’t help by texting that she has the house to herself.

Doggo does ok but he’s pushing his luck all day on the contacts and finally, in our last run, he misses one on the A frame and gets us faulted. When he doesn’t stop on his next one, the dog walk, I pick him up and put him back on, thereby getting us eliminated.

Thankfully we finish quite early, so we head home to dry out and to see what buttons I can push.

In the evening we’re at the Nottingham Playhouse to see the play Garage Band. The thing is, I’m not sure whether I ought to write a gig review or a theatre review?

The show opens with a ‘not the best’ rendition of The Damned’s ‘New Rose’ performed live by the four cast members in their on-stage garage. Yep, Nottingham Playhouse has gone punk.

The premise is that old punks don't die, they simply end up living in suburbia, middle-aged, with a dull job, a mortgage and probably a few kids. In this particular corner of suburbia, the 15th most pleasant village in Britain, these four ex-punks get together to form their own 'tribute' band, although don't use that word in front of Gavin. If nothing else, it will help to relieve the current tedium of their lives.

Gavin (Robin Kingsland, keeping me awake this time, not so the last time in The Price) takes it all far too seriously, which isn’t very punk. He’s the driving force behind the group and also its drummer. First time around, he was right in the thick of things and part of a band called Grunt. A band who never quite made it.

Back in the day, Grunt were asked to support The Damned but when his brother died in Northern Ireland, Gavin didn’t make it that night and when their lead singer was killed in a car crash a week later, that was sadly that. These sorts of disclosures are gradually revealed by all the cast members as the play progresses.

Gavin is desperate for a second chance and to try to recapture the energy of the late 1970's. He has a willing recruit in Alan (John Elkington). Alan is a guitarist who practices every night on Guitar Hero, usually playing the very un-punk 'Freebird'. He seems to be a bit of a sad singleton, who never really grew up in the first place.

Another desire that unites them both, is that they’d both like to get it on with bass player and single mum Penny. Penny (Suki Smith) looks respectable enough but actually she’s always wanted to be Beki Bondage and she’s having teenager Daughter problems, that gets a lot of the audience nodding in agreement. She says that her Daughter hates her and has moved out so that she can do exactly the sort of punk things that Penny used to do. Which worries Penny, because she got pregnant at 15 and had to have the child adopted.

These three throw themselves full heartedly into the project, as Penny says 'It's more exciting than the Alexander Technique or line dancing'.

Then there’s Danny (Mark Jardine), a lecturer, who claims that Joe Strummer changed his life but with a new baby at home, he finds it hard to be committed to the band. All the same, when Gavin arranges some gigs for them and even a full tour, he is eventually persuaded to sing vocals for them. Gavin gets his hair cut Mohican style and off they go.

Cue lots of decent songs played by the band themselves as they get a chance to relive their youth and perform in front of willing audiences.

White Riot
Babylon Is Burning
Ever Fallen In Love
Neat Neat Neat
Sound of The Suburbs
I Fought The Law
Anarchy In The UK

They also play them rather well. Gavin turns out to be an excellent drummer; the guitar and bass are good too. There are some impressive vocal performances, complete with suitably punk posturing by Danny.

Their tour is a huge success and they finish feeling reinvigorated by it all but of course you can’t permanently recreate your youth. The mortgage, the kids, even the pet dog will all still be there. Times change.

Danny reveals that he will be quitting the band. He has written an essay on punk and the influence it wielded, and has been called to lecture on the subject over in America, just as the band are preparing play a festival in Germany. Gavin gives up, already estranged from his wife, family and job, he packs his bags and plans to walk away from the 15th most pleasant village in Britain.

Until Alan stops him. Their Facebook friends have demanded that they do one final farewell concert. Even Danny agrees, so one night at the local village hall and supported by the local Brownie Recorder Troupe, the band take the stage for one last concert. They go down a storm and even play ‘Dead to Me’ a song originally recorded by Gavin’s former band Grunt.

They close the show with a much more polished 'New Rose' to rapturous applause from the audience. I think an encore would have been appropriate but then that wouldn't have been very punk would it.

It’s an excellent play. Part comedy, part nostalgia, part rock concert and part well observed observation on life, particularly some of the stuff about teenagers... we can relate to that!

Garage Band runs at Nottingham Playhouse until June 20th. If you’ve got even the slightest dose of punk in your blood go see it.

We head off for a triple Leffe debrief in the Ropewalk. Among all the nostalgia and exploration of the psyche of old punks, the play asks the question whether punk really did change the culture of this country. L and I debate this thoroughly and tend to agree that it didn't. Punk certainly shook up the music world but the country, no not really.

Garage Band In Rehearsal





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The ’lost video’ of 'Dead to Me' By Grunt