Suicidal Tendencies

L often points out that the only flaw in her fitness regime is her inability to get up in the mornings. Which could be one of the reasons why I exist? She reckons that she needs a cold shower over her pillow but the solution is easier than that. L is more competitive than she thinks she is and she won't let me get one up on her first thing in the morning. So, when I vow to run the dogs around the pond at 6am, I know she won’t let us go without her and of course she doesn’t.

So off we set with the old man and the pocket rocket. I'm attached to both of them, partly in an attempt to try to curb MD's suicidal tendencies. He feels the need to attack anything that moves - cars, dogs, cats or anything that might be a car, a dog or a cat for that matter.

After which I take the bus and for the first time I don't have my Times newspaper. I've been on a super cheap subscription deal with them for the last few years, a lot cheaper than their standard subscription, but they've been gradually inching it up and as I'm really not that bothered about a paper in the week, I've decide to axe it. So it's the increasingly awful freebie Metro instead.

I get to work to be informed that my record for the 3.6 miles around the block at Pride Park has been beaten. My colleague has lowered it by around 50 seconds. Impressive. I need to get my running shoes on and re-lower it, I wasn't really pushing myself when I set the old record because I was basically pacing him round. I'm sure I can take at least 30 seconds out of his time but how long that will stand I'm not sure. He has, after all, got 14 years on me.

After work, L comes across to Derby because we've managed to find somewhere that is still showing Revolutionary Road. L’s promises me it will be a nice and depressing evening. It's on at Derby's new QUAD centre for contemporary art and film. There's been a lot of debate about whether Derby needed this sort of place, mainly by people who don't go to places like this. Well Derby did desperately need an independent cinema to replace the old Metro Cinema, whether it needed an art gallery when Derby already has a decaying underfunded one down the road is another matter.

The other debate was about the daft place that they decided to put it and I don’t think anybody outside the council wanted it where it ended up, smack bang in your face in the Market Place. Particularly as it’s such an ugly building, modern in a sort of outdated sort of way, if you know what I mean, like the Assembly Rooms beside it.

I get there before L and go inside to get tickets and check out the price of the coffees. Inside the centre as a whole and particularly the cafe bar is busy and buzzing, which will annoy the doubters.

I ought to be AF because of the Clumber Duathlon tomorrow but in the end we both take a beer in with us, although the place doesn’t have the impressive range of beers of Broadway, Nottingham’s independent cinema.

The decor inside is surprisingly basic and makes you wonder what all the money went on. Nottingham’s Broadway has had about three redesigns to get it where it is now and I think Derby's is going to need the same, although I doubt they'll be so free with the funding, as it's already cost them millions to get it built.

The cinema itself was the best bit, very nice and with big comfy seats, although the crowds outside weren’t here to see Revolutionary Road because there weren’t more than a dozen in our film.

We wade through far too many adverts, its almost like being at a multiplex and then the film itself is very short lived. Before it had chance to get depressing, the film reel went up in smoke. Film on a reel? How quaint. Seems an odd choice for a brand new cinema now that digital is all the rage.

So what now? We get a full refund and complimentary tickets to come again but we probably won’t get chance before Revolutionary Road has finished its run.

We retire to the Royal Standard, where I force myself to have another pint to make a night of it. Oh the hardship. We also eat there as they have a rather appropriate pasta dish on the menu, which should fuel me up nicely for my event tomorrow.