More Gives You More

Doggo's eye is improving. Which is good news, I need him fit for Saturday. Can't see him being able to judge those hurdles very well with only one eye.

After last nights free scarf debacle, Derby County promise that anyone who didn't get one can pick one up from the club shop as long as they have a match ticket. They are as good as their word but it could end up costing them a lot in scarves because all of the 30,000 people who had tickets could in theory turn up to claim one, irrespective of whether they got one last night. In fact, it could be more than that because they didn't mark my ticket to say I'd got one, so I could go back again tomorrow. If I went back often enough, I could start up my own market stall.

So now the Oggy van deserts us, we'll soon be having to eat each other out here in the middle of nowhere in the Pride Park desert. I embark on the long trudge across the wilderness to Sainsbury's.

Pity this poor skier, who was left dangling from a chairlift after he became stuck upside-down with his trousers round his ankles. Jolly embarrassing and potentially some nasty frostbite.



Squash and I lose 3-1 but it could have been so different had the first game, that ended up 17-15 gone my way.

For some unknown reason, at the leisure centre we are now being directed to the women's changing rooms, whilst the women are being directed to the men's. Now can somebody please explain to me the point behind that?

I've now had the 'pleasure' of getting changed in both, so I know that the only difference is that one has urinals and the other doesn’t, and of course the women now have custody of these. Which begs the question what are they going to do with them? Unless there's some other obscure reason, that they've vacated the women's... I check for holes in the wall, the absence of heating, hidden cameras etc, even for large spiders but there's nothing. Well bemused.

Perhaps we'll find the answer in 'More' magazine. I get home and catch L reading Daughter's copy of said magazine, a least I assumed it was Daughter's. Typically, she's on the problem page. I confiscate it naturally. Fascinating stuff and there's a regular feature called 'position of the week', road tested and rated not only by their readers, who send in photographic proof but also by Ken and Barbie (the dolls). I kid you not. There's almost as much bare male flesh in More as there is bare female flesh in Son's 'Gamesmaster' magazine and in case you haven't read 'Gamesmaster', let me tell you that's a lot.

We retire to bed, still pondering 'More' magazine. I bet none of their readers have to worry about getting a collie in shot as they take their photographic evidence.