The World Is Clearly A Better Place For It

According to TfL (Transport for London) and ok we don't live in London but they reckon that if you cycle to work you're likely to get caught in rain only eight times a year. I don't wish to put anyone off but quite frankly this is b*******. I've been probably caught eight times in the last month alone and as for cycling during the barbecue summer, well... Still, they’re probably right in that it's probably not as wet as people think.

Today I do cycle. My neck wasn’t too much of a problem except when looking behind me and only on one side. So I had to be extra careful with my right turns. I nearly made it all the way in the dry but, TfL take note, the rain caught me just as I was close to work.

University applications are go, at long last. Son has finished his personal statement, which is a load of flannel all students have to submit to allegedly impress the universities. They say it carries weight but I’m not sure. I reckon the admissions tutors just take the best ones with them on the staff night out and read amusing anecdotes from them over a few pints. The UCAS system rejects Son’s because it's too long. Blimey. Always one for the ‘quick fix’, I never thought any piece of work from Son would ever be rejected for being too long. How times have changed and the world is clearly a better place for it.

All he needs now is someone’s credit card to submit it, so L leaves him hers. That’s a rash thing to do but I’m sure his fingers won’t deviate to Amazon mid application. In the end though he can’t get it to submit anyway and we do it for him later when L and I are both on hand to witness the momentous occasion. Well actually we both just wanted a butchers at this legendary personal statement.

No squash tonight, so I agree to meet L at the gym instead. Although I’m not quite sure what I’ll do when I get there. I can’t run because of my leg, can’t row because of my shoulder. A session on the bike would be favourite but having biked there, it does seem a bit like overkill. I might have to w... a... l... k... on the treadmill.

Instead I do some leg weights, which goes better than I thought. I use three different machines that all focus on the thighs and mainly side to side movement but when I come to the one that involves actually lifting the weights via your ankles, my leg feels like it’s about to snap off at the calf and I have to stop.

Then as I wait for ages for someone to vacate one of the bikes, I bite the bullet and do the W thing on the treadmill. I really ought to do what everyone else does these days and find some to sue for my injury. It’s totally ruined my life, particularly when it comes to the humiliation of w****** on the treadmill.

At least I manage to have a bit of fun. I take it up to 7kph which seems about as fast as my leg will take. Then I notice that the girl next to is running at 7.5kph so I increase the speed of mine to be the same, just for the hell of it. Although I'm still walking and she's still running.

I finally get on the bike and the previous user has not stopped the computer, in the several hours they’ve been aboard it, they’ve only done 5k. Probably because they were reading something half the time they were on it. So I double that for them, in a fraction of the time it took them.